-The scene began inside of Taylor Wilde's hotel room. She she sat in a stool with veteran announcer Jim Ross seated across from her in the same type of chair. Despite all this, Taylor seemed more interested in the fact that her chair could spin more than anything else. She leaned her head backwards while her long blond hair dipped over the back of the leather surface-
Taylor Wilde: This spins!
- And away she went. Round and round. Good Ol' JR new that Taylor's attention span was notoriously low. But she seemed to be having the time of her life-
Jim Ross: Ah, Taylor, thank you for allowing me this time.
Taylor Wilde: No problem!
- She continued with her spinning ways-
Jim Ross: It's been a long time coming but you are finally going to be getting your hands on the duo known as BeautifulDangerous. Trish Stratus and Natalya. Both the Women's and Sky High Title's will be up for grabs and you're going to be teaming with your partners in The Poison Trio, Portia and Rayna. How are you feeling?
Taylor Wilde: Happy!
-Taylor stopped spinning and placed a pair of fingers on her cheeks, flashing a wide smile-
Jim Ross: Really? Not anxious or nervous? A lot is on the line here.
Taylor Wilde: No way! We finally get to whip the pants off of those two lame-o's!
-The Canadian stopped and placed a finger on her chin-
Taylor Wilde: I just called Trish Stratus a lame-o. JIM! Have you ever met someone that you admired for a long time and when you finally did they were a big disappointment?
Jim Ross: I have.
-The bouncy and hyperactive diva took a deep breath-
Taylor Wilde: Well, that's how I feel about Trish Stratus. She is just a no good, bad, awful, rotten, smelly person. She was my hero! If it wasn't for her I wouldn't even be a wrestler. She was someone who was both pretty and strong at the same time. But she turned out to be just a big disappointment. And a huge dork, I might add. Like super duper huge. And very insecure. She got all uppity at me because I talked about how great she was? As if she were some kind of dusty old relic? I didn't mean it that way at all and I know that she is aware of that. No one was trying to push her out. But we are now! She is old and tired and used and a broken toy that no one is going to want to play with after we're done with her! This isn't the way I wanted things to go down! I wanted a big, huge, cool match with her with respect and honor and all of that cool stuff. But she went all nutso and it's come down to this. Too bad for her! I guess they call this bittersweet. But she brought it on herself.
-Exhale-
Jim Ross: And Natalya?
Taylor Wilde: She's just Trish's little hanger on. And a nerd. Trish is a dork and Natalya is a nerd. There IS a difference. She and Trish get to sit at the cool table and we're the little indy misfits. But the thing is these indy misfits are going to be champs! All these months of ducking us are going to be over and we will finally have our talents recognized and all of that other good stuff.
Jim Ross: Thank you, Taylor. This is a highly anticipated contest and I wish you the best of luck.
Taylor Wilde: No! Thank youuuu!
-Taylor took both of JR's hands and shook them up and down feverishly, almost knocking his famous hat off in the process.-
****
Rayna Von Tosh: What is the definition of an anti-diva?
-Foot steps pressing lightly on a surface could be heard as the shapely Rayna Von Tosh emerged from seemingly nothing but darkness. A deep red colored curtain could be seen behind her. A spotlight then shined upon her figure.-
Rayna Von Tosh: Well, a diva is defined as a glamorous and successful female and personality. Ah-ha. That's the word..
-She pointed a black glove covered finger at the camera-
Rayna Von Tosh: Personality. We all know that Natalya isn't glamorous but her biggest drawback is personality. She doesn't have one. That is why someone would call themselves an "anti-diva". Anti-humor, anti-style, anti-class, anti-everything.
-A second spotlight emerged and flashed upon a rather dreary poster of Natalya. Just black and white with her standing in the ring, with nothing dynamic about it-
Rayna Von Tosh: And yet she derides those who actually go out and try to be entertaining. What a confusing, mixed up little puppet she is.
-On the word "puppet" one dropped down beside Rayna. It was hung about by a series of strings. It was a crudely made wooden thing with little dots for eyes and a mouth that flapped each time it spoke. It's limbs wiggled about and it looked to be dressed in Natalya's sort of ring attire. It spoke in annoying shrill voice.-
Puppet: I've heard all the criticisms about me! That my family is famous! Or that I have pink streaks in my hair! Or that I'm ugly! Or fat!
Rayna Von Tosh: No, no, dear. We don't care about any of that. Some of it isn't even true. You just don't have an entertaining bone in your single body.
-Rayna tapped the puppet where it's nose should be. It made a deep sigh and then went flinging up where it came from.-
Rayna Von Tosh: But alas, all is not loss. There is still hope for our division. There is a trio coming along that will help bring in a new era. A new era filled with joy, entertainment and athleticism! A trio that has been awaiting it's opportunity! A Poison Trio. And we most certainly are poison to the uninspired, elitist and dull....
-The theatrical member of the group slips back behind the curtains as the spotlights dim out-
****
-Portia Perez could be found in the empty Target center. The ring had already been sat up and crew members could be seen in the background making other preparations. The dark haired diva was outside of the ring with her elbows resting on the steel guardrail and her feet propped up on the mat-
Portia Perez: BeautifulDangerous. Sounds like the name of a really bad, sappy, late 90's drama. Poison Trio sounds like a bad ass kung-fu movie. And since kung-fu always beats drama....the same thing is going to happen at Aftermath.
-Portia slinks down from the guardrail and starts to pace-
Portia Perez: So, I've been hearing the same thing for awhile. Why haven't we jumped Trish and Natalya? They've been screwing with us, right? And it's not like we're afraid of them. We could have jumped them and beat their brains out. Why didn't we do it? Because we're not like them. We're a trio but we don't help each other win individual matches. We don't want to be anything like them. We knew if we were patient enough we would get our shot at them. And that day is here....
-She gives a little grin. She's been waiting for this chance for some time.-
Portia Perez: We knew this day would come but we didn't know that Trish and Natalya would be stupid and arrogant enough to make it a handicap match. You see while you two have been doing your little sneak attacks and running your mouths? We've been winning matches. You may not have noticed this but we've torn our way through the entire Diva's division. And we're going to tear straight through the both of you and take your titles.
-Portia laughs but it's not out of amusement. It's the annoyed sort.-
Portia Perez: Because we've been told that we're just "Shimmer Rejects" since we've got here. No matter who we've beaten or how entertaining we've been. That all changes. Because when Natalya and Trish get their asses kicked by us, we'll have made our names here. When we lay out these so called "institutions" no one is ever going to doubt us ever again.
-As she begins to draw closer to the camera she points directly towards it.-
Portia Perez: And there is something I want to tell both of you. Trish? You're a stuck up, hateful BITCH. Taylor looked up to you and you ended up hurting her more than you realize or care. But she's like a sister to me. And I've been waiting to get your ass in the ring. I'm going to smash your pretty little face open. And I'm going to ENJOY it. Everyone treats you like you're royalty. Like you're something special. But you aren't. And you sure as hell aren't going to look like it when I'm done with you.
And Natalya? Miss "Tough Diva"? That's what I've heard. That you're ushering in this new "Tough Diva" movement. Hate to break it to you but myself Rayna and Taylor? We've been doing that since we got here. So we're not just going to shake you off of our coattails. We're going to kick you straight in the teeth. And you're getting soft and I can tell. You're hanging out with Trish and getting way too cushy for your own good. We called you out for a fight and you just sat on your ass? COWARD. You. Are. A .COWARD. You don't want to get your hands dirty anymore. Or you're afraid to. Or maybe you don't think we're worth it.
-Her eyes narrow and she begins to look positively dark.-
Portia Perez: But we're worth it. And we'll prove it to you. We'll force you to get down on your knee's and respect us. Even if it kills us. Or kills you.
-Annoyed with all the talking, Portia shoves the camera's lens away. The time is here and she is ready to fight.-
Poison Trio
Tough Love?
-The scene began on a close up of the outside of The Poison Trio's locker room. The sign on the door had a skull and cross bones with a swirl of pink, blue and green. The red headed and shapely member of the group, Rayna Von Tosh, stood outside of the door, slipping on her black, elbow length gloves. Todd Grisham stood beside her and was ready to conduct an the interview. Rayna flicked her hair backwards and looked to be all business on this evening.-
Todd Grisham: Rayna Von Tosh, tonight you'll be facing Stacy Keibler live in Detroit.
Rayna Von Tosh: How terrible for her.
Todd Grisham: You last faced each other in an eight woman tag at the WrestleMania pre-show.
-The diva's eyes narrowed as her hands slid onto her hips-
Rayna Von Tosh: Yes and I hope she was able to cherish her tainted win. Because tonight not only am I going take that win back, I'm also going to..how you say..pound her into the mat.
Todd Grisham: That is a bit more direct and combative than we are used to hearing from you.
Rayna Von Tosh: You could attribute that to a pair of factors. The stolen victory her team managed to get at WrestleMania and my two most favorite people on the planet.
Todd Grisham: I'm assuming you're referring to Trish Stratus and Natalya.
Rayna Von Tosh: Oui. I'm a bit annoyed if you haven't been able to tell. Myself, Taylor and Portia called out those two and what did we receive? Some cop-out explanation? Tough love? Well, tonight, Stacy Keibler is not going to receive tough love. No, no. She is going to receive a very passionate defeat. To put it very lightly. I could be far cruder in my explanation but I'll allow my performance to speak for me.
Todd Grisham: This is a former Women's Champion we're talking about.
Rayna Von Tosh: And what an awful time for the division that was! I've beaten her best friend Torrie Wilson on two separate occasions. I suppose I'm just going to have to give her the exact same treatment. You can't compare us at all. As long as she has been wrestling one would assume that she should be the most technically sound and proficient diva in the locker room. Regrettably, this is not the case. I'm predicting a quick and painful demise for her.
Todd Grisham: Looking to send a message to our two champions, I see.
Rayna Von Tosh: And that message will be in the ring. We won't be jumping that gruesome pair like most are predicting. We called them out and they showed their true cowardly nature by deciding to hide in their nice, expensive locker room. If that is the way they choose to play this little game then so be it. But when we finally do get them in the ring, or they if they get enough courage to face us, it's only going to be worse for them. Stacy Keibler is merely a prelude to this. It isn't her fault that Trish and Natalya helped them win our match. But at this point we don't have time for pleasantries.
Todd Grisham: Any final words before your encounter?
-Rayna wiggles a few fingers towards herself, instructing the camera man to draw closer-
Rayna Von Tosh: Stacy? Darling? I wouldn't get too dolled up for tonight's festivities. Because you are going to be the exclamation point on the end of my statement. This isn't going to be about merely entertaining our wonderful fans. This is about taking my gloves off....
-She removes the same long gloves she had slipped on at the beginning of the promo-
Rayna Von Tosh: ....and getting my hands dirty.
-The velvet gloves are crumbled up in her hands and this shot brings the scene to it's conclusion.-
Todd Grisham: Rayna Von Tosh, tonight you'll be facing Stacy Keibler live in Detroit.
Rayna Von Tosh: How terrible for her.
Todd Grisham: You last faced each other in an eight woman tag at the WrestleMania pre-show.
-The diva's eyes narrowed as her hands slid onto her hips-
Rayna Von Tosh: Yes and I hope she was able to cherish her tainted win. Because tonight not only am I going take that win back, I'm also going to..how you say..pound her into the mat.
Todd Grisham: That is a bit more direct and combative than we are used to hearing from you.
Rayna Von Tosh: You could attribute that to a pair of factors. The stolen victory her team managed to get at WrestleMania and my two most favorite people on the planet.
Todd Grisham: I'm assuming you're referring to Trish Stratus and Natalya.
Rayna Von Tosh: Oui. I'm a bit annoyed if you haven't been able to tell. Myself, Taylor and Portia called out those two and what did we receive? Some cop-out explanation? Tough love? Well, tonight, Stacy Keibler is not going to receive tough love. No, no. She is going to receive a very passionate defeat. To put it very lightly. I could be far cruder in my explanation but I'll allow my performance to speak for me.
Todd Grisham: This is a former Women's Champion we're talking about.
Rayna Von Tosh: And what an awful time for the division that was! I've beaten her best friend Torrie Wilson on two separate occasions. I suppose I'm just going to have to give her the exact same treatment. You can't compare us at all. As long as she has been wrestling one would assume that she should be the most technically sound and proficient diva in the locker room. Regrettably, this is not the case. I'm predicting a quick and painful demise for her.
Todd Grisham: Looking to send a message to our two champions, I see.
Rayna Von Tosh: And that message will be in the ring. We won't be jumping that gruesome pair like most are predicting. We called them out and they showed their true cowardly nature by deciding to hide in their nice, expensive locker room. If that is the way they choose to play this little game then so be it. But when we finally do get them in the ring, or they if they get enough courage to face us, it's only going to be worse for them. Stacy Keibler is merely a prelude to this. It isn't her fault that Trish and Natalya helped them win our match. But at this point we don't have time for pleasantries.
Todd Grisham: Any final words before your encounter?
-Rayna wiggles a few fingers towards herself, instructing the camera man to draw closer-
Rayna Von Tosh: Stacy? Darling? I wouldn't get too dolled up for tonight's festivities. Because you are going to be the exclamation point on the end of my statement. This isn't going to be about merely entertaining our wonderful fans. This is about taking my gloves off....
-She removes the same long gloves she had slipped on at the beginning of the promo-
Rayna Von Tosh: ....and getting my hands dirty.
-The velvet gloves are crumbled up in her hands and this shot brings the scene to it's conclusion.-
Posted by
C&C
Welcome To The Jungle
-The scene began in the parking lot of the Atlanta Zoo, which happened to be the same City WrestleMania X was taking place. It's a very nice, pleasant and sunny day without a single cloud in the sky. Dozens of people lined up to get in as this was one of the most popular attractions Atlanta had to offer. A camera was positioned in front of a group of diva's known as The Poison Trio. Taylor and Portia were clad in very casual attire but Rayna was still overly dressed even for a simple trip to the zoo.-
Rayna Von Tosh: Hello EBWF audience. So glad you could join us. We are here today at the lovely Atlanta Zoo. And why are we here?
Taylor Wilde: Because I like the penguins!
-Taylor proudly points a thumb towards herself while Portia looks back at her and hisses.-
Portia Perez: Shut up, Taylor.
-Portia turns to Rayna with a confused look on her face. Meanwhile, Taylor makes goofy faces behind her back in the background.-
Portia Perez: Why ARE we here?
Rayna Von Tosh: Viewing these animals will allow us to tap into our fiercest instincts.
Portia Perez: ...Yeah?
Rayna Von Tosh: And they make good metaphors for wrestling promo's.
-Rayna looks over her new manicure while Portia slowly nods in understanding. Taylor suddenly lunges forward and wraps her arms around both of of her team mates. Portia tries to pry herself from this death grip.-
Taylor Wilde: I'm SO excited! All three of us get to team up for the very first time! AT WRESTLEMANIA! And AJ is on our team! She is SOOOOO COOL!
Portia Perez: Our team is pretty bad ass. Our opponents aren't going to know what hit them. We are too young, too fast and too new school. We are going to Bones Jones those suckers.
Rayna Von Tosh: I'm sorry...what?
Portia Perez: You don't know who BONES JONES is?! We're going to come at them like a 6'6'' black dude who murders people in the face! Got it?!
Rayna Von Tosh: I suppose that is a suitable approach...
Taylor Wilde: Can we go in now? Please, please, please?
-Taylor begs while hopping in place and Rayna nods in compliance. Portia motions them along as she leads the way in.-
Portia Perez: C'mon! We'll find the animal that most represents me!
-The scene made a quick cut and when it returned the Trio were standing outside of the gated fence of the Black Rhinoceros exhibit. The large, horned creatures were eating twigs and leafs and generally being enormous. Portia had her arms folded and she nodded in satisfaction. Taylor stared off into space, munching on a stick of cotton candy. Rayna looks entirely perplexed by Portia's selection.-
Rayna Von Tosh: Seriously?
Portia Perez: What?
Rayna Von Tosh: You think you are best represented by a RHINO?
Portia Perez: Uh. Yeah. Duh.
Rayna Von Tosh: And you pride yourself on being a "ninja", correct?
Portia Perez: Yep.
Rayna Von Tosh: And in what way does a rhino possibly posses the qualities of a ninja?
Portia Perez: ...They...both stab things.
Rayna Von Tosh: That would be what they refer to as "goring".
Taylor Wilde: You guys do smell a lot alike.
Portia Perez: SHUT UP, TAYLOR!
Taylor Wilde: YOU SHUT UP, PORTIA!
Rayna Von Tosh: OK, OK, let's try and focus here.
Portia Perez: Do you want to know why I'm like a rhino? Because we will both charge your ass! And it doesn't get more serious than a rhino about to charge your ass! And when it's over our opponents are going to be bloody, red rag dolls suspended in the air on my mighty horn! ...Err...fist!
-Portia balls up her hand into a tight fist and throws it skywards to further illustrate her point.-
Rayna Von Tosh: Mm. Charming. Let's go and find my animal, shall we?
-Another quick cut and the three were now in front of a large cage with rock formations designed to resemble a mountain range inside. Within all of it was a large snow leopard. It peacefully dozed away in the sun and it's striped tail gave an occasional flick.-
Portia Perez: Wow. So this is you, huh? You just lay around all day? So not cooler than a Rhino.
Rayna Von Tosh: It does NOT just lay around all day. It is graceful. And beautiful. And luxurious.
Portia Perez: And boring.
-A handler steps into the cage carrying a large bucket. It places it onto the ground as a handful of live mice scatter out.-
Taylor Wilde: Awwww! Little mouses!
Rayna Von Tosh: Mice.
-Rayna quickly corrected her.-
Rayna Von Tosh: And, as you are about to witness, it is not simply a gorgeous specimen. It is actually a very dangerous and cunning hunter. Much like myself. Smaller and weaker prey, such as our opponents, simply cannot match it's combination of speed and strength.
Taylor Wilde: ....What is the big kitty doing?
-The leopard licks it's lips and slowly begins to prowl towards the mice. Taylor is slowly but surely beginning to realize what is going to happen. The leopard opens it's mouth wide, showing off it's sharp fangs, and leaps towards the helpless creatures. Taylor gasps loudly and releases a scream of terror.-
Taylor Wilde: A-A-AHHH!!
-The scenery changes again and it starts off with a close up of Taylor's traumatized face. She shakes while Rayna and Portia are discussing something in the background.-
Rayna Von Tosh: We need to find an animal that represents AJ. Are there any animals that play video games?
-This instantly seems to give Portia an idea.-
Portia Perez: I know one!
-Portia heads through a stone tunnel and Rayna pulls Taylor along by the wrist. They stop in front of a well lit room with small cases that hold smaller types of animals. A sign above one particular display reads "EUROPEAN HEDGEHOG" and the spiny covered mammal rustles about amongst some hay.-
Rayna Von Tosh: A hedgehog?
-Portia stares at the little animal, as if expecting it to do something amazing.-
Portia Perez: C'mon! Run around! Spin into something! Jump around and kill robots! DO IT ALREADY!
Rayna Von Tosh: ...I believe the psychology of a video game hedgehog is very different from that of a real one.
Portia Perez: Well, son of a bitch!
-Portia places her hands on her hips and glares in disappointment.-
Portia Perez: And it's not even blue! HEY!
-Portia turned to shout at one of the attendants.-
Portia Perez: Where are the real hedgehogs?!
-Rayna buries a hand over her face. Taylor, snapping out of her fear induced trance, suddenly pipes in.-
Taylor Wilde: Can we find an animal that is like me?
Portia Perez: We don't have time to find which animal is the dumbest one.
-Taylor's voice cracks as if she's about to burst into tears.-
Taylor Wilde: That's not fair.
Rayna Von Tosh: YES, you can find one. Go, go, go.
-Rayna simply wants to get away from the scene Portia was creating and Taylor quickly rockets out of the area.-
Taylor Wilde: HOORAY!
-A fast edit and Taylor had found her animal. It's habitat was behind a large display of glass and Taylor had her face and palms firmly pressed against it. A baby panda. The only giant panda cub in the nation. Taylor's partners looked on with varying degrees of annoyance. Taylor had been positioned like this for what seemed like forever.-
Taylor Wilde: Baaaabyyyy pandaaaaaaaa....
Portia Perez: How is this anything like you?!
Taylor Wilde: Sooooo cute. DO. WANT.
Rayna Von Tosh: Focus on the match.
Taylor Wilde: His name is Po. His mom's name is Lun Lun. His dad's name is Yang Yang Yang. His brothers name is Xi-Lan.
Portia Perez: TAYLOR!
Taylor Wilde: OK, OK!
-Taylor pries herself away from the glass and her face and palm prints are still evident upon it.-
Taylor Wilde: Panda's are like me because they are cute and unassuming. But if you get too close it goes all RAWR and bites your face off! I'll bite our opponents faces off!
-Portia and Rayna both raise their eyebrows at this sudden display of aggression.-
Taylor Wilde: It's WrestleMania! I'll bite faces off for WrestleMania!
Rayna Von Tosh: Hopefully you won't need to do that. But is the fun part. Now we get to find animals that represent our opponents.
-The diva's were now in a forest like area where cages kept some of the animals. Inside one of them were a pack of black and white furred lemurs. Two of them were fighting over a piece of fruit, tugging and yanking at it.-
Portia Perez: Hey! Look! It's Michelle and Layla!
Rayna Von Tosh: Flawless lemurs.
Portia Perez: Psh. They haven't been looking all that flawless to me. What are they arguing about? Which one of them gets to use the brain they've been sharing all of this time?
Rayna Von Tosh: Yes, because these two do not seem to be on the same page at all as of late. They argue in the locker rooms, they argue in the ring and they even argue on twitter. Not very becoming at all.
Taylor Wilde: We've wrestled them a buncha times, haven't we? Even when they were on the same page they couldn't beat us! And we totally know that those two can dish it out but they can't take it!
Portia Perez: So how are they going to stand a chance against us when they can't even stand each other and they've never worked with their teammates?
Rayna Von Tosh: Simply put...they won't. That is going to be a key in our victory. The three of us are a cohesive unit and we all appreciate what Ms. AJ Lee is capable of.
Taylor Wilde: She's SOOO COOL!
Rayna Von Tosh: A unified approach will always be able to overcome disarray. Poor timing on their part. They decided to fall apart just in time to give us a huge victory.
-The camera watches as the lemurs roll about and continue to fight with one another. After a scene hop a flamingo standing on one foot is shown. It's almost like a statue as it stands in a pool of water, it's pink feathers being blown about by the wind.-
Taylor Wilde: This is Stacy, isn't it?
Rayna Von Tosh: Indeed. Tall. Nice to look at. But mostly useless.
Portia Perez: Hey! You wuss pink bird! We're calling you STACY KEILBER! Want to do something about it?!
Taylor Wilde: Yeah! You....BUUUUUTT FACE!
Rayna Von Tosh: And much like Stacy Keibler, it doesn't do much of anything. She was a former Women's Champion but what has she done to regain the title? Has she focused herself at all? If you consider late nights at clubs and drunk dancing to be focus than I suppose she has. She lost that title and she merely gave up on being the best. I'm afraid that we cannot relate to that attitude.
Portia Perez: When she's staring across the ring at the four of us she's going to give up again! Before the bell even rings! If she wants to hit the 'Mania after parties we'll make sure this match is over quickly for her! She's probably gonna live it up a little too much before the show even starts and show up wasted anyway.
Taylor Wilde: She might be like eleventy feet tall but I know we can wrestle rings around her! Bigger they are, bigger they fall!
-Almost as if the flamingo can hear these threats, it buries it's head into the pool of water. The final animal of the trip is soon displayed as the magic of editing shows a Gulf Coast Sheep grazing on blades of grass. It seems perfectly content in it's happy, woolly world. The Trio stand beside it as it pays them no mind and continues eating. It's a part of the petting zoo so getting this close isn't a problem.-
Rayna Von Tosh: And here is Torrie's spirit animal of sorts.
Taylor Wilde: Baaaaaaa.
Portia Perez: Lot's of body hair?
Rayna Von Tosh: Not what I intended. No. They have the same personality. Nice. But too nice. Docile. No killer instinct whatsoever.
Portia Perez: That does sound like her, doesn't it?
Rayna Von Tosh: Torrie is a multiple time champion but I have been able to defeat her on two separate occasions. So you can believe me when I tell you that she is unable to adapt to the new level of competition that we bring.
Portia Perez: But she won't do anything about it. She's just going to keep right along grazing. Maybe it will take a good kick in the head from someone like us to kick her into high gear. But even then she just can't compare to what we can do in the ring.
Rayna Von Tosh: I couldn't have said it better myself. Right Taylor? ....Taylor?
-The pair look about but aren't able to locate their blonde friend. Until they notice her in the next exhibit over. She is riding on the shell of a four hundred pound Aldabra Tortoise. It moves about slowly as if it doesn't even notice that she is on top of it. An exasperated voice comes over the speaker.-
Attendant: PLEASE DO NOT CLIMB INTO THE EXHIBITS. RIDING THE ANIMALS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.
-The final scene shows The Poison Trio in the parking lot as the sun is beginning to set behind them. Rayna and Portia both glare over at a sheepish Taylor-
Rayna Von Tosh: Well, before we are banned from the zoo...
Taylor Wilde: He wanted me to...
Rayna Von Tosh: Our mission statement is very clear. Victory and nothing less. We are going to show why we are the future of the diva's division.
Portia Perez: Plus we're gonna get that sweet "Hey! Someone we know!" pop from a sold out crowd.
Rayna Von Tosh: We are kicking off WrestleMania and we certainly intend to begin the party with a bang. And we'll do it at the expense of Stacy Keilber, Torrie Wilson and LayCool. I'm afraid we won't take a loss in front of such a huge audience. Our stars are going to burn the brightest.
Taylor Wilde: For realsies!
-Looking to make a huge impression, the trio were clearly prepared for their WrestleMania encounter as the scene faded out.-
Rayna Von Tosh: Hello EBWF audience. So glad you could join us. We are here today at the lovely Atlanta Zoo. And why are we here?
Taylor Wilde: Because I like the penguins!
-Taylor proudly points a thumb towards herself while Portia looks back at her and hisses.-
Portia Perez: Shut up, Taylor.
-Portia turns to Rayna with a confused look on her face. Meanwhile, Taylor makes goofy faces behind her back in the background.-
Portia Perez: Why ARE we here?
Rayna Von Tosh: Viewing these animals will allow us to tap into our fiercest instincts.
Portia Perez: ...Yeah?
Rayna Von Tosh: And they make good metaphors for wrestling promo's.
-Rayna looks over her new manicure while Portia slowly nods in understanding. Taylor suddenly lunges forward and wraps her arms around both of of her team mates. Portia tries to pry herself from this death grip.-
Taylor Wilde: I'm SO excited! All three of us get to team up for the very first time! AT WRESTLEMANIA! And AJ is on our team! She is SOOOOO COOL!
Portia Perez: Our team is pretty bad ass. Our opponents aren't going to know what hit them. We are too young, too fast and too new school. We are going to Bones Jones those suckers.
Rayna Von Tosh: I'm sorry...what?
Portia Perez: You don't know who BONES JONES is?! We're going to come at them like a 6'6'' black dude who murders people in the face! Got it?!
Rayna Von Tosh: I suppose that is a suitable approach...
Taylor Wilde: Can we go in now? Please, please, please?
-Taylor begs while hopping in place and Rayna nods in compliance. Portia motions them along as she leads the way in.-
Portia Perez: C'mon! We'll find the animal that most represents me!
-The scene made a quick cut and when it returned the Trio were standing outside of the gated fence of the Black Rhinoceros exhibit. The large, horned creatures were eating twigs and leafs and generally being enormous. Portia had her arms folded and she nodded in satisfaction. Taylor stared off into space, munching on a stick of cotton candy. Rayna looks entirely perplexed by Portia's selection.-
Rayna Von Tosh: Seriously?
Portia Perez: What?
Rayna Von Tosh: You think you are best represented by a RHINO?
Portia Perez: Uh. Yeah. Duh.
Rayna Von Tosh: And you pride yourself on being a "ninja", correct?
Portia Perez: Yep.
Rayna Von Tosh: And in what way does a rhino possibly posses the qualities of a ninja?
Portia Perez: ...They...both stab things.
Rayna Von Tosh: That would be what they refer to as "goring".
Taylor Wilde: You guys do smell a lot alike.
Portia Perez: SHUT UP, TAYLOR!
Taylor Wilde: YOU SHUT UP, PORTIA!
Rayna Von Tosh: OK, OK, let's try and focus here.
Portia Perez: Do you want to know why I'm like a rhino? Because we will both charge your ass! And it doesn't get more serious than a rhino about to charge your ass! And when it's over our opponents are going to be bloody, red rag dolls suspended in the air on my mighty horn! ...Err...fist!
-Portia balls up her hand into a tight fist and throws it skywards to further illustrate her point.-
Rayna Von Tosh: Mm. Charming. Let's go and find my animal, shall we?
-Another quick cut and the three were now in front of a large cage with rock formations designed to resemble a mountain range inside. Within all of it was a large snow leopard. It peacefully dozed away in the sun and it's striped tail gave an occasional flick.-
Portia Perez: Wow. So this is you, huh? You just lay around all day? So not cooler than a Rhino.
Rayna Von Tosh: It does NOT just lay around all day. It is graceful. And beautiful. And luxurious.
Portia Perez: And boring.
-A handler steps into the cage carrying a large bucket. It places it onto the ground as a handful of live mice scatter out.-
Taylor Wilde: Awwww! Little mouses!
Rayna Von Tosh: Mice.
-Rayna quickly corrected her.-
Rayna Von Tosh: And, as you are about to witness, it is not simply a gorgeous specimen. It is actually a very dangerous and cunning hunter. Much like myself. Smaller and weaker prey, such as our opponents, simply cannot match it's combination of speed and strength.
Taylor Wilde: ....What is the big kitty doing?
-The leopard licks it's lips and slowly begins to prowl towards the mice. Taylor is slowly but surely beginning to realize what is going to happen. The leopard opens it's mouth wide, showing off it's sharp fangs, and leaps towards the helpless creatures. Taylor gasps loudly and releases a scream of terror.-
Taylor Wilde: A-A-AHHH!!
-The scenery changes again and it starts off with a close up of Taylor's traumatized face. She shakes while Rayna and Portia are discussing something in the background.-
Rayna Von Tosh: We need to find an animal that represents AJ. Are there any animals that play video games?
-This instantly seems to give Portia an idea.-
Portia Perez: I know one!
-Portia heads through a stone tunnel and Rayna pulls Taylor along by the wrist. They stop in front of a well lit room with small cases that hold smaller types of animals. A sign above one particular display reads "EUROPEAN HEDGEHOG" and the spiny covered mammal rustles about amongst some hay.-
Rayna Von Tosh: A hedgehog?
-Portia stares at the little animal, as if expecting it to do something amazing.-
Portia Perez: C'mon! Run around! Spin into something! Jump around and kill robots! DO IT ALREADY!
Rayna Von Tosh: ...I believe the psychology of a video game hedgehog is very different from that of a real one.
Portia Perez: Well, son of a bitch!
-Portia places her hands on her hips and glares in disappointment.-
Portia Perez: And it's not even blue! HEY!
-Portia turned to shout at one of the attendants.-
Portia Perez: Where are the real hedgehogs?!
-Rayna buries a hand over her face. Taylor, snapping out of her fear induced trance, suddenly pipes in.-
Taylor Wilde: Can we find an animal that is like me?
Portia Perez: We don't have time to find which animal is the dumbest one.
-Taylor's voice cracks as if she's about to burst into tears.-
Taylor Wilde: That's not fair.
Rayna Von Tosh: YES, you can find one. Go, go, go.
-Rayna simply wants to get away from the scene Portia was creating and Taylor quickly rockets out of the area.-
Taylor Wilde: HOORAY!
-A fast edit and Taylor had found her animal. It's habitat was behind a large display of glass and Taylor had her face and palms firmly pressed against it. A baby panda. The only giant panda cub in the nation. Taylor's partners looked on with varying degrees of annoyance. Taylor had been positioned like this for what seemed like forever.-
Taylor Wilde: Baaaabyyyy pandaaaaaaaa....
Portia Perez: How is this anything like you?!
Taylor Wilde: Sooooo cute. DO. WANT.
Rayna Von Tosh: Focus on the match.
Taylor Wilde: His name is Po. His mom's name is Lun Lun. His dad's name is Yang Yang Yang. His brothers name is Xi-Lan.
Portia Perez: TAYLOR!
Taylor Wilde: OK, OK!
-Taylor pries herself away from the glass and her face and palm prints are still evident upon it.-
Taylor Wilde: Panda's are like me because they are cute and unassuming. But if you get too close it goes all RAWR and bites your face off! I'll bite our opponents faces off!
-Portia and Rayna both raise their eyebrows at this sudden display of aggression.-
Taylor Wilde: It's WrestleMania! I'll bite faces off for WrestleMania!
Rayna Von Tosh: Hopefully you won't need to do that. But is the fun part. Now we get to find animals that represent our opponents.
-The diva's were now in a forest like area where cages kept some of the animals. Inside one of them were a pack of black and white furred lemurs. Two of them were fighting over a piece of fruit, tugging and yanking at it.-
Portia Perez: Hey! Look! It's Michelle and Layla!
Rayna Von Tosh: Flawless lemurs.
Portia Perez: Psh. They haven't been looking all that flawless to me. What are they arguing about? Which one of them gets to use the brain they've been sharing all of this time?
Rayna Von Tosh: Yes, because these two do not seem to be on the same page at all as of late. They argue in the locker rooms, they argue in the ring and they even argue on twitter. Not very becoming at all.
Taylor Wilde: We've wrestled them a buncha times, haven't we? Even when they were on the same page they couldn't beat us! And we totally know that those two can dish it out but they can't take it!
Portia Perez: So how are they going to stand a chance against us when they can't even stand each other and they've never worked with their teammates?
Rayna Von Tosh: Simply put...they won't. That is going to be a key in our victory. The three of us are a cohesive unit and we all appreciate what Ms. AJ Lee is capable of.
Taylor Wilde: She's SOOO COOL!
Rayna Von Tosh: A unified approach will always be able to overcome disarray. Poor timing on their part. They decided to fall apart just in time to give us a huge victory.
-The camera watches as the lemurs roll about and continue to fight with one another. After a scene hop a flamingo standing on one foot is shown. It's almost like a statue as it stands in a pool of water, it's pink feathers being blown about by the wind.-
Taylor Wilde: This is Stacy, isn't it?
Rayna Von Tosh: Indeed. Tall. Nice to look at. But mostly useless.
Portia Perez: Hey! You wuss pink bird! We're calling you STACY KEILBER! Want to do something about it?!
Taylor Wilde: Yeah! You....BUUUUUTT FACE!
Rayna Von Tosh: And much like Stacy Keibler, it doesn't do much of anything. She was a former Women's Champion but what has she done to regain the title? Has she focused herself at all? If you consider late nights at clubs and drunk dancing to be focus than I suppose she has. She lost that title and she merely gave up on being the best. I'm afraid that we cannot relate to that attitude.
Portia Perez: When she's staring across the ring at the four of us she's going to give up again! Before the bell even rings! If she wants to hit the 'Mania after parties we'll make sure this match is over quickly for her! She's probably gonna live it up a little too much before the show even starts and show up wasted anyway.
Taylor Wilde: She might be like eleventy feet tall but I know we can wrestle rings around her! Bigger they are, bigger they fall!
-Almost as if the flamingo can hear these threats, it buries it's head into the pool of water. The final animal of the trip is soon displayed as the magic of editing shows a Gulf Coast Sheep grazing on blades of grass. It seems perfectly content in it's happy, woolly world. The Trio stand beside it as it pays them no mind and continues eating. It's a part of the petting zoo so getting this close isn't a problem.-
Rayna Von Tosh: And here is Torrie's spirit animal of sorts.
Taylor Wilde: Baaaaaaa.
Portia Perez: Lot's of body hair?
Rayna Von Tosh: Not what I intended. No. They have the same personality. Nice. But too nice. Docile. No killer instinct whatsoever.
Portia Perez: That does sound like her, doesn't it?
Rayna Von Tosh: Torrie is a multiple time champion but I have been able to defeat her on two separate occasions. So you can believe me when I tell you that she is unable to adapt to the new level of competition that we bring.
Portia Perez: But she won't do anything about it. She's just going to keep right along grazing. Maybe it will take a good kick in the head from someone like us to kick her into high gear. But even then she just can't compare to what we can do in the ring.
Rayna Von Tosh: I couldn't have said it better myself. Right Taylor? ....Taylor?
-The pair look about but aren't able to locate their blonde friend. Until they notice her in the next exhibit over. She is riding on the shell of a four hundred pound Aldabra Tortoise. It moves about slowly as if it doesn't even notice that she is on top of it. An exasperated voice comes over the speaker.-
Attendant: PLEASE DO NOT CLIMB INTO THE EXHIBITS. RIDING THE ANIMALS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.
-The final scene shows The Poison Trio in the parking lot as the sun is beginning to set behind them. Rayna and Portia both glare over at a sheepish Taylor-
Rayna Von Tosh: Well, before we are banned from the zoo...
Taylor Wilde: He wanted me to...
Rayna Von Tosh: Our mission statement is very clear. Victory and nothing less. We are going to show why we are the future of the diva's division.
Portia Perez: Plus we're gonna get that sweet "Hey! Someone we know!" pop from a sold out crowd.
Rayna Von Tosh: We are kicking off WrestleMania and we certainly intend to begin the party with a bang. And we'll do it at the expense of Stacy Keilber, Torrie Wilson and LayCool. I'm afraid we won't take a loss in front of such a huge audience. Our stars are going to burn the brightest.
Taylor Wilde: For realsies!
-Looking to make a huge impression, the trio were clearly prepared for their WrestleMania encounter as the scene faded out.-
Posted by
C&C
Normality
-The scene began on the sultry redhead known as Rayna Von Tosh. She could be found laying across a couch in her locker room, thumbing through a book with the title "Conversational Chinese". She adjusted the pair of stylish pair of glasses she wore as a light knock was heard coming to her door.-
Rayna Von Tosh: ...Yes?
-The bald head of Jonathan Coachman cautiously poked into the room-
Rayna Von Tosh: Something troubling you, Coach?
-Coach slowly entered the locker room and continued to look about in a paranoid manner-
The Coach: Typically when I interview one of The Poison Trio bizarre things happen. Taylor is very energetic and hops around the entire and rarely stays on topic. Portia is very aggressive and usually threatens me and everything around her. I never know what to expect.
-Rayna raised an eyebrow with a grin on her face. She removed her glasses, closed the book and rose from the couch-
Rayna Von Tosh: Haven't you realized yet, Coach? I'm the sensible one. The planner. I hold things together. I have poise and rationality. A lady doesn't partake in that type of behavior.
-She ran a hand through her hair while Coach seemed to be relieved by this development-
The Coach: So this is just going to be a straight forward interview about your match with Torrie Wilson?
Rayna Von Tosh: Indeed.
The Coach: Alright! Well, as I just stated you're set to go up against Torrie Wilson this week. A diva who has won both the Women's Title and The Sky High Championship. Not to mention she was the 2010 Queen of the Ring. Getting a win here sounds like a formidable task.
Rayna Von Tosh: I suppose it would be. For most people. But I'm the unique, chic and magnifigue Rayna Von Tosh. And she is just...Torrie Wilson. Even that name sounds drab and dreary. Rather plain. It doesn't sound very appealing in bright lights, does it? It appears as though an upbringing in...Idaho...doesn't leave much room for culture.
-Coach is ready to reply when he feels something bump against the back of his leg. A little person, a midget, a dwarf, whatever you would like to call it, just scurried past him. It was also dressed in a tuxedo and top hat. Coach glanced over his shoulder but wasn't able to get a glimpse of the strange occurrence-
The Coach: Err...
-He continued along and thought nothing of it.-
The Coach: Do think it's wise to underestimate Torrie Wilson? She has accomplished a great during her time in this company. She's faced a whole slew of challengers and has to be well prepared for your style of wrestling.
Rayna Von Tosh: I can underestimate Torrie Wilson because I have been one of those challengers. And if I recall correctly, I defeated her when we faced off. Rather easily and effortlessly, I might add. I can't say I was terribly impressed with her. Especially when you consider all of the accolades you just listed. She's a very, very nice girl. A delight to be around if you're into that sort of thing. But that won't stop me from defeating her once again. I know that she's capable of being aggressive but a loss is quite out of the question at the moment. I'm coming into this match with a statement to make.
The Coach: And what would that statem...
-Coach suddenly paused with a bewildered look appearing on his face. Behind Rayna two men dressed like movers in coveralls were pushing a very bizarre piece of "furniture" A giant clam with a blond haired woman dressed like a mermaid inside, complete with a finny lower half. She wiggles her arms about in a little dance as Coach raises his finger and points. When Rayna turns around the men through a curtain over the oddity to conceal it.-
Rayna Von Tosh: ...Yes? The arena is going under some construction. Bothersome, isn't it?
The Coach: I just saw...
Rayna Von Tosh: Coach. This is an important match for me. I would hate to think that you're going to be a distraction after an unprofessional interview.
The Coach: Uh...
-Coach shook his head about. Maybe he was just seeing things. He took a look over to the movers once more before turning back to Rayna-
The Coach: My question was, what kind of statement are you attempting to make?
Rayna Von Tosh: As you've just stated, Torrie Wilson is something of a name around here, isn't she? A win over her is a statement. That tells everyone that I am where the focus should be. The new, fresh, young Diva's. Along with Taylor and Portia. And just as Portia defeated Ariel last week, a more established name, I'm going to dispose of Torrie Wilson. We have nasty little trolls like Trish and Natalya running around with both of the titles and something should be done about that. The Poison Trio intends to. I don't see Torrie Wilson stepping up to do anything about it. She's complacent in her little world with her drunkard friend Stacy and her romance with John Cena. She can continue that trend and leave the wrestling to us.
-Coach looked ready to prepare his next question when something else caught his eye. Behind Rayna were a pair of can-can dancers in bright costumes with garish make up. They were followed by large, muscular bald man with a curly mustache who was wearing a wife-beater. The dancers even did a quick little routine as Coach watched, completely flabbergasted. They slipped into the large curtain blocking a curtain of the room as Rayna turned around-
Rayna Von Tosh: Coach. Have you never seen minor construction work being done? It's not that amazing, I assure you.
-Coachman rubbed at the corners of his eyes. He couldn't recall doing any drinking the night before so maybe he was simply going insane. Dealing with wrestlers could be tasking, after all.-
The Coach: ...Ah...well...Torrie Wilson hasn't seen much in-ring action as of late and that could be due in part to her unfortunate run in with Brian Kendrick.
Rayna Von Tosh: And I sympathize. Really. Portia has dealt with him as well and he is an awful human being. So while I feel for her that won't make me go any easier on her. One has to dust themselves off eventually. And I won't allow that to be used as an excuse when I have my arm raised in victory. We're in a very dangerous business where practically anything is capable of happening. Well, anything except for Torrie Wilson getting a win over me. That can't and will never occur. And I'm afraid that there is precious little she can do about it. Perhaps she will be able to find solstice in the fact getting another win over her will help propel me. She may find the outcome depressing but I'm sure she will be out shopping for cheap shoes in no time.
-A pair suddenly popped up on either side of Rayna. Two...people of indeterminable gender dressed in blue, skin tight body suits that covered them from head to toe. They began to strike strange, contorted poses as Coach pointed feverishly at them.-
The Coach: There! Right THERE! Do you see that?!
Rayna Von Tosh: Oh. This?
-Rayna looked surprisingly unaffected by this as she went to the enormous curtain and pulled it aside. The room was now filled with the two freaky contortionists, a well dressed midget, two can-can girls, a strong man and a mermaid inside of a clam. The clam itself had a series of flashing lights spread out around them. The two movers had shed their coveralls and were both dressed like ring leaders in white outfits with golden bird masks.-
Rayna Von Tosh: I'm an entrepreneur, yes? You have to have something to fall back on. I'm working on starting a touring cabaret show. We do need an announcer..
-Coach went wide eyed as the weird group advanced towards him-
The Coach: Y...You lied to me! You told me this was going to be normal!
-Coach quickly fled the locker room as Rayna sported a satisfied grin and held out her palm-
Rayna Von Tosh: 50 dollars. Pay up.
Portia Perez: DAMN IT!
-Rayna's partner Portia emerged from another room and the dark haired diva placed the money into the redhead's palm.-
Portia Perez: I can't believe he actually fell for that!
-Portia cursed under her breath as Rayna looked on to the unusual troupe around her who were all still striking strange poses as the scene faded.-
Rayna Von Tosh: ...Yes?
-The bald head of Jonathan Coachman cautiously poked into the room-
Rayna Von Tosh: Something troubling you, Coach?
-Coach slowly entered the locker room and continued to look about in a paranoid manner-
The Coach: Typically when I interview one of The Poison Trio bizarre things happen. Taylor is very energetic and hops around the entire and rarely stays on topic. Portia is very aggressive and usually threatens me and everything around her. I never know what to expect.
-Rayna raised an eyebrow with a grin on her face. She removed her glasses, closed the book and rose from the couch-
Rayna Von Tosh: Haven't you realized yet, Coach? I'm the sensible one. The planner. I hold things together. I have poise and rationality. A lady doesn't partake in that type of behavior.
-She ran a hand through her hair while Coach seemed to be relieved by this development-
The Coach: So this is just going to be a straight forward interview about your match with Torrie Wilson?
Rayna Von Tosh: Indeed.
The Coach: Alright! Well, as I just stated you're set to go up against Torrie Wilson this week. A diva who has won both the Women's Title and The Sky High Championship. Not to mention she was the 2010 Queen of the Ring. Getting a win here sounds like a formidable task.
Rayna Von Tosh: I suppose it would be. For most people. But I'm the unique, chic and magnifigue Rayna Von Tosh. And she is just...Torrie Wilson. Even that name sounds drab and dreary. Rather plain. It doesn't sound very appealing in bright lights, does it? It appears as though an upbringing in...Idaho...doesn't leave much room for culture.
-Coach is ready to reply when he feels something bump against the back of his leg. A little person, a midget, a dwarf, whatever you would like to call it, just scurried past him. It was also dressed in a tuxedo and top hat. Coach glanced over his shoulder but wasn't able to get a glimpse of the strange occurrence-
The Coach: Err...
-He continued along and thought nothing of it.-
The Coach: Do think it's wise to underestimate Torrie Wilson? She has accomplished a great during her time in this company. She's faced a whole slew of challengers and has to be well prepared for your style of wrestling.
Rayna Von Tosh: I can underestimate Torrie Wilson because I have been one of those challengers. And if I recall correctly, I defeated her when we faced off. Rather easily and effortlessly, I might add. I can't say I was terribly impressed with her. Especially when you consider all of the accolades you just listed. She's a very, very nice girl. A delight to be around if you're into that sort of thing. But that won't stop me from defeating her once again. I know that she's capable of being aggressive but a loss is quite out of the question at the moment. I'm coming into this match with a statement to make.
The Coach: And what would that statem...
-Coach suddenly paused with a bewildered look appearing on his face. Behind Rayna two men dressed like movers in coveralls were pushing a very bizarre piece of "furniture" A giant clam with a blond haired woman dressed like a mermaid inside, complete with a finny lower half. She wiggles her arms about in a little dance as Coach raises his finger and points. When Rayna turns around the men through a curtain over the oddity to conceal it.-
Rayna Von Tosh: ...Yes? The arena is going under some construction. Bothersome, isn't it?
The Coach: I just saw...
Rayna Von Tosh: Coach. This is an important match for me. I would hate to think that you're going to be a distraction after an unprofessional interview.
The Coach: Uh...
-Coach shook his head about. Maybe he was just seeing things. He took a look over to the movers once more before turning back to Rayna-
The Coach: My question was, what kind of statement are you attempting to make?
Rayna Von Tosh: As you've just stated, Torrie Wilson is something of a name around here, isn't she? A win over her is a statement. That tells everyone that I am where the focus should be. The new, fresh, young Diva's. Along with Taylor and Portia. And just as Portia defeated Ariel last week, a more established name, I'm going to dispose of Torrie Wilson. We have nasty little trolls like Trish and Natalya running around with both of the titles and something should be done about that. The Poison Trio intends to. I don't see Torrie Wilson stepping up to do anything about it. She's complacent in her little world with her drunkard friend Stacy and her romance with John Cena. She can continue that trend and leave the wrestling to us.
-Coach looked ready to prepare his next question when something else caught his eye. Behind Rayna were a pair of can-can dancers in bright costumes with garish make up. They were followed by large, muscular bald man with a curly mustache who was wearing a wife-beater. The dancers even did a quick little routine as Coach watched, completely flabbergasted. They slipped into the large curtain blocking a curtain of the room as Rayna turned around-
Rayna Von Tosh: Coach. Have you never seen minor construction work being done? It's not that amazing, I assure you.
-Coachman rubbed at the corners of his eyes. He couldn't recall doing any drinking the night before so maybe he was simply going insane. Dealing with wrestlers could be tasking, after all.-
The Coach: ...Ah...well...Torrie Wilson hasn't seen much in-ring action as of late and that could be due in part to her unfortunate run in with Brian Kendrick.
Rayna Von Tosh: And I sympathize. Really. Portia has dealt with him as well and he is an awful human being. So while I feel for her that won't make me go any easier on her. One has to dust themselves off eventually. And I won't allow that to be used as an excuse when I have my arm raised in victory. We're in a very dangerous business where practically anything is capable of happening. Well, anything except for Torrie Wilson getting a win over me. That can't and will never occur. And I'm afraid that there is precious little she can do about it. Perhaps she will be able to find solstice in the fact getting another win over her will help propel me. She may find the outcome depressing but I'm sure she will be out shopping for cheap shoes in no time.
-A pair suddenly popped up on either side of Rayna. Two...people of indeterminable gender dressed in blue, skin tight body suits that covered them from head to toe. They began to strike strange, contorted poses as Coach pointed feverishly at them.-
The Coach: There! Right THERE! Do you see that?!
Rayna Von Tosh: Oh. This?
-Rayna looked surprisingly unaffected by this as she went to the enormous curtain and pulled it aside. The room was now filled with the two freaky contortionists, a well dressed midget, two can-can girls, a strong man and a mermaid inside of a clam. The clam itself had a series of flashing lights spread out around them. The two movers had shed their coveralls and were both dressed like ring leaders in white outfits with golden bird masks.-
Rayna Von Tosh: I'm an entrepreneur, yes? You have to have something to fall back on. I'm working on starting a touring cabaret show. We do need an announcer..
-Coach went wide eyed as the weird group advanced towards him-
The Coach: Y...You lied to me! You told me this was going to be normal!
-Coach quickly fled the locker room as Rayna sported a satisfied grin and held out her palm-
Rayna Von Tosh: 50 dollars. Pay up.
Portia Perez: DAMN IT!
-Rayna's partner Portia emerged from another room and the dark haired diva placed the money into the redhead's palm.-
Portia Perez: I can't believe he actually fell for that!
-Portia cursed under her breath as Rayna looked on to the unusual troupe around her who were all still striking strange poses as the scene faded.-
Posted by
C&C
A Shattered Dreams Production
-The scene began on Portia Perez as she sat in her locker room in the Von Braun Center arena. She was watching a monitor that showed Trish Stratus and Natalya's promo from Warfare. The dark haired female wrestler rolled her eyes in disgust and took a drink from the bottle of water she held. Her urge to punch something was slowly growing-
Portia Perez: How fricken cute.
-A pair of gloved hands began to massage Portia's shoulders and a familiar voice began to speak-
Goldust: Mm...you are so...stressed.
Portia Perez: I am stressed.
-Portia closed her eyes. The massage felt nice so it hadn't registered just yet that a stranger was in her locker room-
Goldust: You need to...
-The bizarre one took a deep breath before exhaling.-
Goldust: ...relax.
-It was then that Portia's eyes snapped open and she sprung out of her chair. She cocked her fist back and Goldust shrieked in terror and held his hands up in front of his face.-
Portia Perez: How did you get in here?!
Goldust: That isn't important!
Portia Perez: Uh, the hell it isn't!
Goldust: I'm here to help you, little lady!
-Portia gave the man in the gold body suit a sharp kick to his leg and he wailed in agony-
Goldust: What was that for?!
Portia Perez: Don't talk down to me, freak!
Goldust: I want to help, I want to help! I know you have a match against Shelley Martinez.
Portia Perez: Salinas.
Goldust: Ariel?
Portia Perez: WHATEVER her name is this week doesn't matter! I'm going to beat her so bad that her own mom won't recognize her! After Aggression she's going to be afraid of sunlight, garlic, stakes through the heart and Portia FRICKEN Perez!
Goldust: She does seem to have an identity crisis. But I know you can beat her. And I also know that you don't like...
-He directed his thumb to the monitor that showing Trish and Natalya-
Portia Perez: Skank-A-Tron and Whore Bot 2099.
Goldust: Yes. Skank-A-Tron and Whore Bot 2099. I don't like them either. So catty.
Portia Perez: And guess what? After I'm done smacking Ariel around? Those two can wobble down to the ring and get some too.
Goldust: But there are two of them and only one of you.
Portia Perez: Big deal! It will be fair for them then! I'll take them both on! The fake vampire chick might almost make me break a sweat. I promise I would get a few good shots in first.
Goldust: Mm. I don't like them. Did I mention that, perchance?
Portia Perez: Yeah, yeah. Get in line. Get to the POINT.
Goldust: Well, as you may know, I'm a bit of a movie aficionado.
-Goldust threw an arm around Portia and held a palm outwards-
Goldust: And I'm looking for a muse. Someone I can make shine.
Portia Perez: Why are you touching me?
-Goldust quickly retracted his arm.-
Goldust: And I also know that you want to be noticed more. This can do it. This can not only propel you to a victory over Ariel but to..
-He performed his patented "deep breath/CHOMP" combo and Portia scrunched her face up at this behavior-
Goldust: ...Stardom.
Portia Perez: Is it going to be bad ass?
Goldust: It will be the most bad ass thing the world has ever seen.
Portia Perez: I'm. In.
-The odd pair nodded in agreement and headed out of the locker room-
****
-The scene returned in Goldust's editing room. He sat in front of control panel after showing Portia the finished product. She folded her arms and he looked back in his directors chair to the diva-
Goldust: ...Was it to your liking?
Portia Perez: It needs to be about...
-She gives her next words some serious thought-
Portia Perez: 20% more bad ass.
-Goldust got all uppity and huffed. He flung some strands of his blond wig aside.-
Goldust: I'm the director here! I can't work under these conditions!
Portia Perez: I'm training to fight a vampire! Don't talk to me!
-Portia pulled a weight from seemingly nowhere and began to curl it in her arm. Goldust returned to his editing equipment.-
Goldust: Starlets. They think they know it all. I suppose it's time for the...final cut.
Portia Perez: Are you talking to me while I'm training for a vampire fight?! I KNOW you aren't talking to me while I'm training to training for a vampire fight!
-Goldust hunched back over his control panel, giving a nervous peek over his shoulder occasionally-
****
-After the screen went black the following video began to play:
-The song "Click Click Boom" by Saliva began to play specifically the part where the singer screams "CLICK, CLICK BOOM!". The screen showed a huge explosion. After it settled, Goldust's voice began to narrate the footage-
...In the world of tomorrow...
...One woman, CAN...
...In a world...
...Who had the chance...
FIGHT FOR FREEDOM
-The footage showed one of Porita Perez's ring entrances except it had been edited to make it look as though she were walking through a series of explosions.-
THIS SUMMER
THEY TOOK IT ALL
-Trish Stratus and Natalya are shown with the Women's and Sky High Titles, respectively. The footage from their Warfare promo was spliced and edited.-
Trish Stratus: Whoa! We are talentless. And knock off board blowers. And little bitches.
Natayla: We are, hands down, nasty little gremlins. The Poison Trio are the most impressive diva's.
Trish Stratus: High heel shoes.
AND SHE WANTS IT BACK
THIS SUMMER
PORTIA PEREZ IN:
JUSTICE IS A NINJA
TERMINAL GUT-ROT
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
OUT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT
...THIS SUMMER...
-The footage shows another Porita entrance edited to make it look like she were walking through a dark, rainy city-
ONLY SHE CAN MAKE THEM PAY
THE STREETS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN
...THIS SUMMER...
-A close up on a box of Count Chocula cereal. Goldust's hand can be seen wiggling it around as he begins to speak, not even attempting to sound like a Ariel or even a woman-
ArielDust: Blaaaah! I'm Ariel! I can never defeat Portia Perez! I'm so lame and she is so powerful! I love Twilight! She is going to hurt me very much! She's going to knock my insides out! Just like this!
-The box is shaken about and it's chocolaty contents go flying about on the table it's resting on. After everything is spilled out the box lifelessly falls over-
ArielDust: ...My life...is over.
IN A FILM JOE SEGAL SAYS IS THE NEXT BALLS OF FURY
DIRECTED BY GOLDUST IN HIS STUNNING POSTMORTEM CINEMATIC VISION
-Scene's from some of Portia's matches are shown. Whenever she punches, kicks, or performs a move on an opponent, they either explode or gush out a ridiculous amount of poorly rendered blood.-
PUTS IT ALL ON THE LINE
BOOMSHAKALAKA
ONE WOMAN
THIS WINTER SOLSTICE
ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE
STARRING:
Jessica Rabbit as Rayna Von Tosh
Dakota Fanning as Taylor Wilde
That prostitute who always hangs outside of the arena as Ariel
Barbara Streisand as Trish Stratus
Avril Lavigne as Natalya (and her lame little pink hair streaks)
Tom Hanks as Lance Storm
Mark Tremontti as Wes Ikeda
and
PORTIA PEREZ as PORTIA PEREZ
-All of the previous scenes are shown at a rapid fire pace to the tune of dramatic opera music until the last shot of a skull with shakes coming out of it explodes and the scene goes to black. The camera cuts back to Portia and Goldust in the editing room. They have their backs pressed against a wall and their arms folded-
Goldust: That was...delicious.
Portia Perez: Postmortem vision? Since when did you die?
Goldust: I just thought it made things sound more majestic. I'm not sure about that last scene with the exploding skull covered in snakes you insisted I put it.
Portia Perez: Trust me. It's only the most metal thing on the whole planet.
-Goldust places his hand onto Portia's shoulder and smiles proudly-
Goldust: You have this match in the bag. Hollywood is going to be beating down your door. Tell me...what is your strategy?
Portia Perez: Hit her until she can't get up anymore.
Goldust: Brilliant. I love it. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Portia Perez: No it isn't.
-Portia walks off as Goldust calls after her-
Goldust: Don't you forget about me when you hit the big time!
Portia Perez: How fricken cute.
-A pair of gloved hands began to massage Portia's shoulders and a familiar voice began to speak-
Goldust: Mm...you are so...stressed.
Portia Perez: I am stressed.
-Portia closed her eyes. The massage felt nice so it hadn't registered just yet that a stranger was in her locker room-
Goldust: You need to...
-The bizarre one took a deep breath before exhaling.-
Goldust: ...relax.
-It was then that Portia's eyes snapped open and she sprung out of her chair. She cocked her fist back and Goldust shrieked in terror and held his hands up in front of his face.-
Portia Perez: How did you get in here?!
Goldust: That isn't important!
Portia Perez: Uh, the hell it isn't!
Goldust: I'm here to help you, little lady!
-Portia gave the man in the gold body suit a sharp kick to his leg and he wailed in agony-
Goldust: What was that for?!
Portia Perez: Don't talk down to me, freak!
Goldust: I want to help, I want to help! I know you have a match against Shelley Martinez.
Portia Perez: Salinas.
Goldust: Ariel?
Portia Perez: WHATEVER her name is this week doesn't matter! I'm going to beat her so bad that her own mom won't recognize her! After Aggression she's going to be afraid of sunlight, garlic, stakes through the heart and Portia FRICKEN Perez!
Goldust: She does seem to have an identity crisis. But I know you can beat her. And I also know that you don't like...
-He directed his thumb to the monitor that showing Trish and Natalya-
Portia Perez: Skank-A-Tron and Whore Bot 2099.
Goldust: Yes. Skank-A-Tron and Whore Bot 2099. I don't like them either. So catty.
Portia Perez: And guess what? After I'm done smacking Ariel around? Those two can wobble down to the ring and get some too.
Goldust: But there are two of them and only one of you.
Portia Perez: Big deal! It will be fair for them then! I'll take them both on! The fake vampire chick might almost make me break a sweat. I promise I would get a few good shots in first.
Goldust: Mm. I don't like them. Did I mention that, perchance?
Portia Perez: Yeah, yeah. Get in line. Get to the POINT.
Goldust: Well, as you may know, I'm a bit of a movie aficionado.
-Goldust threw an arm around Portia and held a palm outwards-
Goldust: And I'm looking for a muse. Someone I can make shine.
Portia Perez: Why are you touching me?
-Goldust quickly retracted his arm.-
Goldust: And I also know that you want to be noticed more. This can do it. This can not only propel you to a victory over Ariel but to..
-He performed his patented "deep breath/CHOMP" combo and Portia scrunched her face up at this behavior-
Goldust: ...Stardom.
Portia Perez: Is it going to be bad ass?
Goldust: It will be the most bad ass thing the world has ever seen.
Portia Perez: I'm. In.
-The odd pair nodded in agreement and headed out of the locker room-
****
-The scene returned in Goldust's editing room. He sat in front of control panel after showing Portia the finished product. She folded her arms and he looked back in his directors chair to the diva-
Goldust: ...Was it to your liking?
Portia Perez: It needs to be about...
-She gives her next words some serious thought-
Portia Perez: 20% more bad ass.
-Goldust got all uppity and huffed. He flung some strands of his blond wig aside.-
Goldust: I'm the director here! I can't work under these conditions!
Portia Perez: I'm training to fight a vampire! Don't talk to me!
-Portia pulled a weight from seemingly nowhere and began to curl it in her arm. Goldust returned to his editing equipment.-
Goldust: Starlets. They think they know it all. I suppose it's time for the...final cut.
Portia Perez: Are you talking to me while I'm training for a vampire fight?! I KNOW you aren't talking to me while I'm training to training for a vampire fight!
-Goldust hunched back over his control panel, giving a nervous peek over his shoulder occasionally-
****
-After the screen went black the following video began to play:
-The song "Click Click Boom" by Saliva began to play specifically the part where the singer screams "CLICK, CLICK BOOM!". The screen showed a huge explosion. After it settled, Goldust's voice began to narrate the footage-
...In the world of tomorrow...
...One woman, CAN...
...In a world...
...Who had the chance...
FIGHT FOR FREEDOM
-The footage showed one of Porita Perez's ring entrances except it had been edited to make it look as though she were walking through a series of explosions.-
THIS SUMMER
THEY TOOK IT ALL
-Trish Stratus and Natalya are shown with the Women's and Sky High Titles, respectively. The footage from their Warfare promo was spliced and edited.-
Trish Stratus: Whoa! We are talentless. And knock off board blowers. And little bitches.
Natayla: We are, hands down, nasty little gremlins. The Poison Trio are the most impressive diva's.
Trish Stratus: High heel shoes.
AND SHE WANTS IT BACK
THIS SUMMER
PORTIA PEREZ IN:
JUSTICE IS A NINJA
TERMINAL GUT-ROT
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
OUT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT
...THIS SUMMER...
-The footage shows another Porita entrance edited to make it look like she were walking through a dark, rainy city-
ONLY SHE CAN MAKE THEM PAY
THE STREETS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN
...THIS SUMMER...
-A close up on a box of Count Chocula cereal. Goldust's hand can be seen wiggling it around as he begins to speak, not even attempting to sound like a Ariel or even a woman-
ArielDust: Blaaaah! I'm Ariel! I can never defeat Portia Perez! I'm so lame and she is so powerful! I love Twilight! She is going to hurt me very much! She's going to knock my insides out! Just like this!
-The box is shaken about and it's chocolaty contents go flying about on the table it's resting on. After everything is spilled out the box lifelessly falls over-
ArielDust: ...My life...is over.
IN A FILM JOE SEGAL SAYS IS THE NEXT BALLS OF FURY
DIRECTED BY GOLDUST IN HIS STUNNING POSTMORTEM CINEMATIC VISION
-Scene's from some of Portia's matches are shown. Whenever she punches, kicks, or performs a move on an opponent, they either explode or gush out a ridiculous amount of poorly rendered blood.-
PUTS IT ALL ON THE LINE
BOOMSHAKALAKA
ONE WOMAN
THIS WINTER SOLSTICE
ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE
STARRING:
Jessica Rabbit as Rayna Von Tosh
Dakota Fanning as Taylor Wilde
That prostitute who always hangs outside of the arena as Ariel
Barbara Streisand as Trish Stratus
Avril Lavigne as Natalya (and her lame little pink hair streaks)
Tom Hanks as Lance Storm
Mark Tremontti as Wes Ikeda
and
PORTIA PEREZ as PORTIA PEREZ
-All of the previous scenes are shown at a rapid fire pace to the tune of dramatic opera music until the last shot of a skull with shakes coming out of it explodes and the scene goes to black. The camera cuts back to Portia and Goldust in the editing room. They have their backs pressed against a wall and their arms folded-
Goldust: That was...delicious.
Portia Perez: Postmortem vision? Since when did you die?
Goldust: I just thought it made things sound more majestic. I'm not sure about that last scene with the exploding skull covered in snakes you insisted I put it.
Portia Perez: Trust me. It's only the most metal thing on the whole planet.
-Goldust places his hand onto Portia's shoulder and smiles proudly-
Goldust: You have this match in the bag. Hollywood is going to be beating down your door. Tell me...what is your strategy?
Portia Perez: Hit her until she can't get up anymore.
Goldust: Brilliant. I love it. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Portia Perez: No it isn't.
-Portia walks off as Goldust calls after her-
Goldust: Don't you forget about me when you hit the big time!
Posted by
C&C
S.S.S.
-Even though Taylor Wilde was a bright, sunny, happy person everything surrounding her rarely seemed to be that way. She always seemed to be fending off challenges from crazy goths, scary vampires, flawless Brits, angry Latina's and now even her idol. Maybe they thought she was an easy target because she was so goofy and cheerful? HA! She would prove them all wrong. And in this case she was out for REVENGE! The Coach was given the task of interviewing the bubbly one as they stood backstage in front of a storage door. Coach looked about the way he always does but Taylor was dressed in a pink robe.-
The Coach: Taylor Wilde, it's been a long time coming but tonight you finally get to go one on one with Trish Stratus. Your Sky High Title is on the line and what are your thoughts facing one of the biggest names in woman's wrestling?
Taylor "Explosive Dynamite" Wilde: Confused!
-The Canadian scrunched her face up and scratched the side of her head-
Taylor "Dangerous Garden Hose" Wilde: I'm not even sure why she hates me so much! But she does! She cost my team the match at Survivor Series, she pulled me out of The Rumble and a few weeks ago she attacked me! Is it because we're both short, blond and Canadian? Is she threatened or something? I have to admit it really did break my heart at first. She's the whole reason I got into wrestling in the first place! Someone that was pretty but still tough was very inspiring!
The Coach: And now you are going to meet in a grudge match.
Taylor "El Pollo Diablo" Wilde: Yes. And grudge rhymes with fudge!
The Coach: Yes it....does?
Taylor "Soul Eater" Wilde: And I like fudge. But if I eat too much I get a pudge and then I can't budge.
The Coach: Focus.
Taylor "Destroyer of Worlds" Wilde: Right! I'm not a fan of Trish anymore. And I'm not the kind of person who goes out and jumps someone. I've just patiently waited until I had my chance to get her fair and square. I have my chance now! I'm going to pay her back for all the things she's done and I want this all to myself. That's why I'm alone and without Portia or Rayna right now. I get underestimated a lot so when I get a three count on Trish Stratus everyone will see how tough I can really be.
-Taylor removes the Sky High title from off of her shoulder and dangles it in front of her face. Her eyes follow it's movements like a cat with a piece of string waving in front of it's nose-
Taylor "Destruction Incorporated" Wilde: Plus every knows how much I like this title. It's pretty. It fits around my waist or even my shoulder! I don't like not having it. Simple as that. And it's super shiny today. Hello little title....
-She does this for a little longer before looking up at Coach in a pleading sort of way-
Taylor "Find Felix#" Wilde: Was that serious enough? Yes? Yes? Yes?
The Coach: I....guess so.
Taylor "BlackAndYellowBlackAndYellowBlackandYellow" Wilde: YAY! OK! You can move the background out of here now!
-A pair of beefy dudes in tropical board shorts stepped out from behind the storage door and lifted the entire background onto their shoulders. It was simply a prop. The sun suddenly began shining and it was revealed that Taylor and The Coach were actually standing on a bridge that overlooked a California beach below them with glistening, sparkling water. Taylor removed her robe and was dressed in a blue bikini with a transparent sash around her waist. She slapped on a pair of pink sunglasses and a straw hat and sighed in contentment. Coach was even wearing swimming trucks with the top of his outfit still being all announcery.-
Taylor "Steve Blackman" Wilde: This has Hello Kitty on it!
-She spun around and lifted up the sash, showing off the Hello Kitty face on her bikini bottom. Coach pulled on his tie and tried not to stare-
The Coach: That's....uh....shouldn't you be taking this more seriously?
Taylor "Crazy Bassanova" Wilde: You're wearing swimming trunks!
The Coach: You insisted on having this promo at the beach. I'm just dressing for the occasion.
Taylor "Canadian Crusher" Wilde: Dood, it's so nice out! I'm from Canada and we don't get weather like this! And that doesn't mean I'm not taking this match seriously because I am. I'm gonna whoop up on Trish something awful. But I'm not going to let her ruin my whole week. Being out in this environment with all of this positivity makes me happy! And do you think she isn't out somewhere working on her tan? Yeah right!
-Taylor leaned against the bridge and smiled almost as brightly as the sun-
Taylor "Ya'll gun' make me lose my mind up in here, up in here" Wilde: We wrestlers do very horrible, awful, bad, bad things to one another. We make a living beating people up! If that's all I did I would be completely wacko! Alright, alright, I'm going to show what I'm going to do to Trish.
-Taylor led Coach along to a hot dog vendor. She took a bun and held it beside her head-
Taylor "Turkey Whisperer" Wilde: This bun represents the ring. You following me? And the dog itself represents....uh....the Sky High Title!
-She used one of those silver "hot dog grabber thingys" and placed it onto the bun-
Taylor "Coolio" Wilde: Next we need ketchup! Ketchup represents um the blood! YES! The blood! A lot of blood is going to be spilled. ARRGGGAAAHHHHHH.....
-Ketchup was sprayed onto the dog while Taylor made painful sounds-
Taylor "ARCADE FIRE?! Whatev's." Wilde: Next with have Trish Stratus. Trish is onions because I don't like onions.
-She looks at the onions as if they were the grossest thing on the planet and puts a few onto the hot dog-
Taylor "They see me rollin' they hatin'" Wilde: And as for me? Well, I'm me! Right here! I'm representing myself. And I don't like onions soooo....
-The onions are thrown off the side of the bridge. She then takes a large bite out of the hot dog-
Taylor "The Moon Master" Wilde: OM NOM NOM!
The Coach: Soo....you are going to....throw Trish Stratus off a bridge and then eat the ring and the Sky High Title?
Taylor "Spiteful Crow" Wilde: ....YES.
The Coach: I think that's going to just about do it. No further questions.
Taylor "New Age Retro Hippie" Wilde: BYEEEEE!
-Taylor waves at the camera as the promo goes away FOREVER-
The Coach: Taylor Wilde, it's been a long time coming but tonight you finally get to go one on one with Trish Stratus. Your Sky High Title is on the line and what are your thoughts facing one of the biggest names in woman's wrestling?
Taylor "Explosive Dynamite" Wilde: Confused!
-The Canadian scrunched her face up and scratched the side of her head-
Taylor "Dangerous Garden Hose" Wilde: I'm not even sure why she hates me so much! But she does! She cost my team the match at Survivor Series, she pulled me out of The Rumble and a few weeks ago she attacked me! Is it because we're both short, blond and Canadian? Is she threatened or something? I have to admit it really did break my heart at first. She's the whole reason I got into wrestling in the first place! Someone that was pretty but still tough was very inspiring!
The Coach: And now you are going to meet in a grudge match.
Taylor "El Pollo Diablo" Wilde: Yes. And grudge rhymes with fudge!
The Coach: Yes it....does?
Taylor "Soul Eater" Wilde: And I like fudge. But if I eat too much I get a pudge and then I can't budge.
The Coach: Focus.
Taylor "Destroyer of Worlds" Wilde: Right! I'm not a fan of Trish anymore. And I'm not the kind of person who goes out and jumps someone. I've just patiently waited until I had my chance to get her fair and square. I have my chance now! I'm going to pay her back for all the things she's done and I want this all to myself. That's why I'm alone and without Portia or Rayna right now. I get underestimated a lot so when I get a three count on Trish Stratus everyone will see how tough I can really be.
-Taylor removes the Sky High title from off of her shoulder and dangles it in front of her face. Her eyes follow it's movements like a cat with a piece of string waving in front of it's nose-
Taylor "Destruction Incorporated" Wilde: Plus every knows how much I like this title. It's pretty. It fits around my waist or even my shoulder! I don't like not having it. Simple as that. And it's super shiny today. Hello little title....
-She does this for a little longer before looking up at Coach in a pleading sort of way-
Taylor "Find Felix#" Wilde: Was that serious enough? Yes? Yes? Yes?
The Coach: I....guess so.
Taylor "BlackAndYellowBlackAndYellowBlackandYellow" Wilde: YAY! OK! You can move the background out of here now!
-A pair of beefy dudes in tropical board shorts stepped out from behind the storage door and lifted the entire background onto their shoulders. It was simply a prop. The sun suddenly began shining and it was revealed that Taylor and The Coach were actually standing on a bridge that overlooked a California beach below them with glistening, sparkling water. Taylor removed her robe and was dressed in a blue bikini with a transparent sash around her waist. She slapped on a pair of pink sunglasses and a straw hat and sighed in contentment. Coach was even wearing swimming trucks with the top of his outfit still being all announcery.-
Taylor "Steve Blackman" Wilde: This has Hello Kitty on it!
-She spun around and lifted up the sash, showing off the Hello Kitty face on her bikini bottom. Coach pulled on his tie and tried not to stare-
The Coach: That's....uh....shouldn't you be taking this more seriously?
Taylor "Crazy Bassanova" Wilde: You're wearing swimming trunks!
The Coach: You insisted on having this promo at the beach. I'm just dressing for the occasion.
Taylor "Canadian Crusher" Wilde: Dood, it's so nice out! I'm from Canada and we don't get weather like this! And that doesn't mean I'm not taking this match seriously because I am. I'm gonna whoop up on Trish something awful. But I'm not going to let her ruin my whole week. Being out in this environment with all of this positivity makes me happy! And do you think she isn't out somewhere working on her tan? Yeah right!
-Taylor leaned against the bridge and smiled almost as brightly as the sun-
Taylor "Ya'll gun' make me lose my mind up in here, up in here" Wilde: We wrestlers do very horrible, awful, bad, bad things to one another. We make a living beating people up! If that's all I did I would be completely wacko! Alright, alright, I'm going to show what I'm going to do to Trish.
-Taylor led Coach along to a hot dog vendor. She took a bun and held it beside her head-
Taylor "Turkey Whisperer" Wilde: This bun represents the ring. You following me? And the dog itself represents....uh....the Sky High Title!
-She used one of those silver "hot dog grabber thingys" and placed it onto the bun-
Taylor "Coolio" Wilde: Next we need ketchup! Ketchup represents um the blood! YES! The blood! A lot of blood is going to be spilled. ARRGGGAAAHHHHHH.....
-Ketchup was sprayed onto the dog while Taylor made painful sounds-
Taylor "ARCADE FIRE?! Whatev's." Wilde: Next with have Trish Stratus. Trish is onions because I don't like onions.
-She looks at the onions as if they were the grossest thing on the planet and puts a few onto the hot dog-
Taylor "They see me rollin' they hatin'" Wilde: And as for me? Well, I'm me! Right here! I'm representing myself. And I don't like onions soooo....
-The onions are thrown off the side of the bridge. She then takes a large bite out of the hot dog-
Taylor "The Moon Master" Wilde: OM NOM NOM!
The Coach: Soo....you are going to....throw Trish Stratus off a bridge and then eat the ring and the Sky High Title?
Taylor "Spiteful Crow" Wilde: ....YES.
The Coach: I think that's going to just about do it. No further questions.
Taylor "New Age Retro Hippie" Wilde: BYEEEEE!
-Taylor waves at the camera as the promo goes away FOREVER-
Posted by
C&C
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)