*8: 00 AM
A hotel room in Richmond, Virginia*
-Portia Perez was fast asleep in her bed, face first, sprawled out in a strange manner. Half of the blanket was covering her and the other half was laying along the floor. The phone on a small table beside her bed began to ring. Her hand reached up to answer without her head even lifting upwards.-
Portia Perez: ...What?
Taylor Wilde: (singing) This is your wake-up caaaaaaaaaa-
-The phone was slammed down.-
*8: 30 AM*
-A knock came to Perez's door and she very slowly dragged herself out of bed like a zombie. She was wearing a green tank top with a big red star on the center and a pair of girl cut boxers with the same pattern. She opened the door, eyes barely open, to see Taylor Wilde and Rayna Von Tosh standing in front of her, both completely dressed for the day-
Rayna Von Tosh: Well, hello Sleeping Beauty. We're going to and find some breakfast. Care to tag al-
Portia Perez: No.
-The door was slammed and Portia fell back into her bed without bothering to lock the door-
*9: 15 AM*
Portia Perez: Who's laughing now, bitch?! Piece of crap cable!
-Rayna and Portia stood in the door way of Portia's room, watching her attack her television set with a broom. The screen was showing nothing but a black and white scramble.-
Rayna Von Tosh: What ARE you doing?
Portia Perez: Maintenance! Shut up!
-A few more swats with the broom did little to improve the screen's condition-
Taylor Wilde: No, don't shake it up! Let the snow settle! That way you can see the San Fransisco in there!
Portia Perez: Oh, come here! Let's see if we can see it together!
Taylor Wilde: OK!
-Taylor walks on over and narrowly avoids an incoming swing from the broom. She yelps and rushes back to the door way-
Portia Perez: It's not a SNOW GLOBE, you ignoramus!
Rayna Von Tosh: How many hotel TV's have you broken this year?
Portia Perez: A lot more than you have! I'm teaching this object a lesson. If it doesn't want to get hit anymore it'll straighten up and fly right!
Rayna Von Tosh: Yes, flawless logic. But we need to get to the arena so-
Portia Perez: Do I have a match this week?!
Rayna Von Tosh: Well, yes you do, but...
-Being that she was mostly motivated but in-ring competition, Portia quickly rushed off into the shower. The sound of a faucet turning on followed by the muffled sounds of Lamb of God coming from a docked i-pod came from the bath room.-
Taylor Wilde: Should we tell her?
Rayna Von Tosh: She'll find out when she gets there.
*10: 15 AM
Dunkin Donuts Center*
-There was a fairly good reason that her teammates had kept a tiny detail from Portia. A portion of the backstage area had been set-up to take photographs for EBWF.net and there she stood in an outfit you probably would have forced her into by gun point any other time. She was wearing a black cocktail dress with a green waist and uncomfortable heels. Her dark hair was dolled up and she was wearing way more make up than she was comfortable with.-
Portia Perez: This SUCKS.
-She glanced into the opposite room where flashes were going off, clearly Rayna and Taylor didn't have the same problems she did. After a growl, she headed off in the opposite direction. She wanted to vent but there didn't seem to be an interviewer out and about this early. She continued to look about-
Portia Perez: Damn it, I swear to god they pop up whenever you don't need them and when you DO they're impossible to find!
-Someone did come from around the corner but it wasn't an interviewer. It was a female stage hand, carrying a large set of make up in her hands-
Make-Up Lady: Portia, as soon as you're done with your break head back on over. We're getting the bikini shots next!
-One of Portia's eyes gave a couple of fidgets as she stared after the woman with a "I will murder your entire family" kind of expression. The Canadian continued down the hallway, muttering to herself.-
Portia Perez: It's cool. Even chicks like Chyna did stupid ass photo shoots like this. That doesn't mean I'm like those other brain dead models.
-As she continued to rationalize with herself, Portia began to realize she was going to need to take matters into her own hands if she wanted to be interviewed. She stopped in front of a broom closet and looked directly towards the camera man-
Portia Perez: I need that camera. ...Don't tell me "no"! I didn't ask you to follow me around anyway, stalker!
-After some struggle, Portia had snatched the camera into her possession. She took it into the closet with her and shut the door behind her. There wasn't a ton of room but there was enough to prop the camera up on a shelf. She took a mop beside her and held it by her side-
Portia Perez: So, I couldn't find an interviewer. But do you know what? I don't need one. This mop right here serves about as much of a purpose as The Coach or Michael Cole. So, do you want to talk to me mop? Go ahead.
-Portia dangles the mop in front of her and shakes it about, making her voice a little deeper-
Portia Perez: "Well, Portia. You've found out that you have a match against Kelly Kelly this week. How do you feel about that?"
How do I feel about that? Why don't they just give me another week off because this is a complete waste of my time. Does anyone REALLY think that Kelly Kelly can get a win over me? And if you do, do you enjoy those handicap parking spaces you get? She has nothing on me. She has nothing at all! Look at those dead, vacant eyes of her. I don't think a worthwhile thought ever floats through her mind.
"Portia, why do you seem so angry all the time?"
I'll tell you why I'm so angry all the time. It's because I'm the last of a dying breed! I'm someone that actually grew up watching wrestling, decided I wanted to that for a living, got trained, worked indies for years and got signed!
-Portia gasps mockingly-
Portia Perez: I know! It's crazy, isn't it? I'm not a model, I wasn't found by some middle aged pervert who wanted to see me in spandex and I actually know about our business! And I don't have famous parents either! WOW! Myself and my teammates are some of the very few that can actually claim that. Unlike my opponent Kelly Kelly. Kelly was a model, someone in the WWE decided they liked how she looked and threw a pair of wrestling boots on her!
"It sounds to me like you may just be bitter."
Portia Perez: Oh, no no, I'm not bitter at all. If I wanted to, I could have gone out and filled myself with plastic Double D's. Like Kelly Kelly, Trish Stratus, Lita and..well, that list just goes on and on and I don't have all day. But I wanted to get noticed because of my abilities and here I am at 23 in the biggest wrestling company in the States. So, THAT'S why I'm angry. Because I have to wrestle bimbo's like Kelly Kelly who got a free ticket into the wrestling industry without actually putting forth any work.
-Portia stopped herself and wagged a finger towards the camera-
Portia Perez: Before I forget, there was someone last week who ran her mouth about me oh so much. "Miss Personality" Lita. Lita has a lot of nicknames but doesn't like mine. She thinks "Canadian Ninja" sounds silly. This from someone who calls herself "The Queen of Extreme". Sounds like a porn title! I happen to think it's the most epic nickname of all time. But I haven't been around as long as Lita so I haven't had time to acquire as many as she has. Just great attention grabbers like "Slut", "Whore", "Prostitute", "Gold Digger" and "Skank Face"!"
"Shouldn't you be focused on your match with Kelly?"
Portia Perez: Kelly Kelly is going to be cake. I've got bigger fish to fry! If Kelly could wrestle as well as she could talk smack on twitter I would have a reason to be afraid. But since that isn't the case, I'm not sweating it! She has no heart and no passion and after I get through with her, maybe I can get some real competition thrown my way! Anymore questions, you stupid MOP?!
-The scene switches to outside of the broom closet where Taylor and Rayna are leaning against the door, dressed in bathrobes for their next costume change-
Taylor Wilde: Is she cutting a promo to a mop?
Rayna Von Tosh: We're...just...going to give her some space...
-Taylor and Rayna slowly back away from the door as the scene fades to black-